Questioning God and my wife

“So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him” Matthew 7:11 NLT

When I was a child it was important I understood that when dad said, “STOP” as I ran toward the street, that I stopped immediately, without a need for an explanation.  The understanding of obedience may save my life. But the bible does not only describe our relationship with God as a Father child relationship, but also as a marriage relationship.


I wanted to get to know Sarah better. So I asked her deep questions. I spent the last 11 years, 7 months, and 21 days getting to know her with questions.

When accusations about her character were brought up, that maybe even made me doubt her, I went to her and asked if what I heard was true. Each time she was grateful that I came directly to her for that answer.

When I am angry at her for something she said or did and I stop and listen to her perspective. I learn that my understanding of her motivations had been wrong. Her motivations were not to harm me. She wanted what was best for our marriage all along.

Occasionally, Sarah needed something done immediately, without time to explain. But afterward, if I asked, she took the time to explain what was going on. What I couldn’t see at the time.

I’ve asked her why she loves me, what her favorite part of the movie was, what she did today, how her family is doing. I’ve asked her what her hopes and dreams are, what she loves, and what she needs. In all of these questions our love for one another has only grown. It has not ever separated us.

In getting to know Sarah she has never said, “That’s a very dangerous question”, or “you’re no longer my husband if you’re going to ask me questions.” To my recollection, she has never scolded me, or separated herself from me, for asking her questions.

Similar to the verse in Matthew, my wife is a human with shortcomings, yet my questions draw me closer to her. Why, in God’s Holy name, would my questions for/to/about God separate He and I?

Let us never discourage someone from asking questions about God. I am convinced that presenting our questions, our doubts, and our lack of understanding to God, and earnestly seeking an answer, will only bring us closer to Him.


Darlene Rae Kelly - Word.